A friend of mine seriously impressed me the other night...doesn't happen that often with my friends so I was pretty happy with the whole experience.
Sick of being in a relationship she couldn't see any future in, she called it what it was and ended it. Sure it might have taken a while to get there, but never is it 'too long'. Sometimes you need to get to that point of finality yourself, but when you do it's incredibly empowering.
Another friend ended a seven year relationship a couple of months back after finally realising the guy she was seeing was never going to propose and didn't seem to want anything more from her than he already had. No kids, no house together, nothing to plan for. So despite what must have absolute heartache, she also called him on it and threw him out of their house - or should I now say 'her' house. The first month was understandably hard, alone at home was an unusual and upsetting scenario she had not envisaged she would be in. Two months on she is a changed person. Empowered by taking control of her life, rather than just going along for the ride, she is determined, focussed and ready to move on. Admirable.
Al
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"One who has the courage to undergo the shattering of the illusion will die, but will die in the mystical sense, so that he may live again. Be dead, thoroughly dead, and do as you will….Take a walk through hell – to have the courage to walk through this hell brings the transcendence that lies beyond"
I read this once and thought to keep it. Although it could be seen as "airy fairy", it made sense to me. Still, if you use all your courage to walk ihto the fire, how do you stay strong enough to get through the hell? Keep us updated Al...
Had a friend who compromised everything she wanted and planned for to keep the useless male in her life and now she's but a shell of her former self, cut off from all her friends and anchoring herself to the male creature who calls the shots.
Just wish she'd had the courage to scrub him out of her life years ago.
one word Deb - friends. Askin them for help is not a slight on the person's ability to manage. I have but a handful of friends I call on in this situation - they know when they are needed and the kick into action instantaneously without question.
I think people think they have to deal with it all on true own. Not true in my life.
Jayne - I have a friend who is calling the shots with a mediocre friend and wonder why she is not trying to exit the relationship. Sometimes it's easier looking in from the outside I guess...it doesn't make it any easier to watch people wasting their lives though does it!
Deb - you walk through hell by knowing that with each day that passes, you're one step closer to being through it. Easy to say, but experience has taught me that it's true. (See 'Richard' for further information...)
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