Elusive harmony

Someone once said to me that there are three things in life that are important to everyone - love, home and work - and that of these things there will always be one that isn't performing as you would like. Ever since hearing this, I thought this was the case insofar as my life was concerned, with one coming good whilst simultaneously another started to fail.

Then, just before the end of the year, they all came good and stayed that way and I thought I really had sorted out my life so well that I had attained the unattainable. Little did I realise what was coming my way...for I had not been made aware of the fourth element in this equation: friends.

And so begins the latest disaster to mop up as the PBF and me are no longer on speaking terms. A series of events over the Christmas break whilst holidaying with my closest friends (including the PBF) have made me question when discretion should be used with your friends, and when you should just be blunt and tell them how you feel about what they are doing with their life.

As you would have read from previous posts, the PBF has an entirely unhealthy obsession with a man he simply can't have. This obsession has been going on for well over a year, with me having to hear about it every single time I see the PBF. At first it seemed comical and harmless however it's manifested into an unhealthy, sad and lonely obsession that is beginning to effect PBF in such a way that he is volatile and withdrawn.

So I wonder, do you call them early on this type of thing and be completely honest? Or do you do as I did on this occasion and make it clear that you don't think there's a chance, all the while knowing the person is not listening to what you are saying?

By taking such an approach we have had a disagreement of such magnitude that we aren't speaking and I am now faced with emailing PBF to ensure he knows where I stand. And despite only ever having the best of intentions, I have a fair idea none of it is going to register with him.

The elusive harmony in life once again slips away...I did get close this time though!

Al