Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A long time between drinks

It's been 18 months since my last post...August 2009 was the last time I logged on here. A pretty poor effort I must say! In spite of my lack of virtual communication, there is indeed much that has happened since back then. My god is there a lot. My last post had me buying a car to carry a dog, whilst being blissfully happy in love. How things change.

But it's not my many and varied stories that made me decide it was time to return to the blog. Today I had a teary phone call from my little sister Cassie who despite every ounce of common sense that exists in her head, continues trying to get a pretty average bloke to fall in love with her. No amount of dishonest behaviour has had any effect on the regard in which she holds him, to her own detriment. Despite the obvious, she continues to expose herself to being hurt.

It was then, talking to her and reinforcing that it takes time to get over someone, that I realised just how far I had come in the last six months. Since I suddenly plunged back into the world of single gay life, I have dropped 15kg, got a new job I never thought I would get, and now consider my life to be so much better than it was in the last first half of last year.

With that overwhelming feeling of empowerment, I started to tell my little sister how good it felt. Then I remembered something my friend Carlo had said to me, "When you look at all you have achieved in the last six months, do you really think you could have done it if you were still with him? Would you have really had the confidence or the conviction to go into an interview and get that job?"

Sometimes we need to learn the lesson ourselves, and when it comes to pulling ourselves out of an emotional hole, there's only so much those who care for you can do...the hard part, and the bit that teaches you the most, has got to come from you. And with that in mind I stopped, let Cassie talk, and let her begin her journey upwards...because there's nothing more satisfying than knowing you have come out the other side and it was all your own work that got you there.

1 comment:

Deb said...

How glad I am that I thought to check your blog - 'just in case'. You've hit the nail right on the preverbial head Al, and I only know this as I crawl towards the light coming out of that bottomless pit myself. Remember the conversations we used to have about our parters? The justifications we used as to why we stayed? As soon as anyone suggested we were misguided they would be dismissed as 'not understanding'.
Sometimes love doesn't conquer all - but a healthy dose of confidence and self esteem sure does.
Well done for coming out the other side a better man. xo