It's three weeks tomorrow since life as I knew it came crashing down. And while the roller coaster has been rough, nothing has played more on my mind than the fact that 'he' seems to feel the need to make himself feel better by contacting me.
Why do people feel the need to contact you after a break up? Initially I had hoped it was a signal fire...a testing of the water to see if I would respond well to a potential reconciliation. It quickly became apparent that it was far more self indulgent than this. Reconciliation was not the name of the game he was playing.
Instead it appears that it was nothing more than the ramblings of a mixed up young man, exposing heavily the lack of maturity he had thus far hidden so well. Any attempts conveyed by me to convince him to stop contacting me have so far been ignored after a few days of silence. And so I wonder, how do I get on with falling out of love with this man if he keeps re-entering my life?
More pertinently, how do I ignore the voice in my head that, filled with misguided optimism, says 'just maybe, this will be the email telling me he made a big mistake'? I am torturing myself and getting nowhere, and all the while becoming more exhausted with life.
Is this what every person who suddenly finds themselves abruptly single goes through? It seems there will be more sleepless nights filled with many tears.
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1 comment:
He wants his cake and to eat it, too.
Yes, he does sound immature, wanting your adoration but not the strings attached with a relationship.
Delete and block his emails, they'll bounce back to him and, hopefully, he'll get the message. To read them is just hurting yourself unnecessarily.
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